Most Recurring Frustrating Comments
1. “You lost/gained weight!!! What happened?”
These people show that they're shocked to see how you changed since the last time you saw each other. It's as if your body shape and status in life are visually linked. There are only two reasons why this is often said. One is because of envy and another is just to break the ice as they can't think of anything else to say. Aside from the weather, they assume that body figure and fitness topic would always take the limelight.
2. “I love your [insert whatever here].” *Note: With sarcasm
Giving compliments not only spreads good karma and boosts the self-confidence of others, but it also shows observers that your generosity of spirit stems from personal pride. Among the most obvious things to be noticed by peers are the change in hairstyle or cut, dress, shoes, accessories and skin complexion. The problem is that there are people who throw compliments even without true appreciation, and you can hear it in their voice. When this happens, the most normal thing that is expected is to deflect instead of responding with a heartfelt "thanks." Then there's the awkward silence.
3. “I heard you have... Why? You should have...”
Without me having to complete the sentences above, you would have probably guessed by now how they'll end up. These comments can be put sympathetically, empathetically or apathetically. The tone may spell out assurance and convey pride, standing to reason out that you were at fault in doing something they don't think was "more right" or "better" than their "superior" standards.
4. “When are you getting married?”
This is one of the questions mostly asked by elders to singles. The situation gets even more uncomfortable if the person asked is not yet in a relationship, does not want to be married (by personal choice), or is already too hopeless for a marriage. To give more pain to the insult and salt to the injury, you would hear them give out their judgments by stating probable reasons why you have not found an ideal partner in life.
How to Curb Trash Talks
Even if you hear bad things about you, just smile and be aggressive. Don’t fight them with fierceness but feel grateful and serene. Just understand that these people do not have anything else to do in life aside from looking down on others. Let them think that you incredibly love your life as it is now. Consider the powerful message of a real smile and broadcast that confidence in you.
2. Tell Them to Stop
In a straight-forward manner without sugar-coating, you can tell them to stop. Do it politely and they might even feel embarrassed of their gestures and words. You can also excuse yourself from the conversation and go to another crowd. If you don’t see any other friends coming in the same gathering, you can re-route the topic and perhaps tell them about the latest movies you have watched or new findings and health benefits you have researched about the miraculous ashitaba plant, and other more general topics to move the conversation onward and upward.
Unfortunately, we cannot handle all people and control the way they naturally speak. If they are in favor of indulging in trash talks and say negative things about others, that’s inevitable for their part. But you can curb them by simply smiling and turning conversations to a more positive light. When you recognize these people from afar, try to avoid them at all costs and do not let yourself be associated with them. As the saying goes: “Three kinds of minds exist in this world: small minds just talk about people; medium minds talk about things; but the great minds talk about ideas.”
This is a guest post by Rochkirstin Santos, an IT person by profession, foodie by nature, wushu athlete by training, dancer by heart and writer by passion. If you want to read more of her articles, check her blog at http://rochkirstin.com/ where she shares casual thoughts about life, celebrations, food reviews and other events. Follow Rochkirstin on Twitter (@rochkirstin) to get connected!